Kansas City Bastards

The WBOD – Peter King and Herman Cain

by on Oct.10, 2011, under Blogs, Epic Douchebaggery, Other Magnificent Bastards

Since Jaye’s internet is out of commission (rumored WBOD target for next Sunday is Comcast), I have the honor and privilege of calling out two complete dickheads this week.

For those of you living under several feet of rock, there’s a protest movement that began in New York roughly three weeks ago and has spread to several cities including Boston, Washington, and Kansas City. The “Occupy Wall Street” movement is not the most well-defined as far as their goals, but a spokesperson for the movement told me that their demands involve damning “the man.”

The movement, thus far, has generated plenty of Democratic support and quite a bit of media coverage over the past few weeks. That said, as Jon Stewart astutely pointed out on The Daily Show, it is being demonized by the GOP despite being more or less the same message (in a less crazy wrapper) as the Tea Party movement a couple of years ago. What was labeled as “fundamentally American” a short two years back is now being called “un-American” by the same people. Two such assholes are Peter King and Herman Cain.

King, a New York Republican congressman, was quoted recently as saying, “The fact is, these people are anarchists. They have no idea what they’re doing out there. They have no sense of purpose other than a basically anti-American tone, and [they are] anti-capitalist. It’s a ragtag mob, basically.”

During the same interview, he went on to say, “It’s really important for us not to give any legitimacy to these people in the streets. I remember what happened in the 1960s when the left-wing took to the streets, and somehow the media glorified them and it ended up shaping policy. We can’t allow that to happen.”

 

OF COURSE!

 

Exercising one’s right to peaceably assemble and petition their government for a redress of grievances is apparently anti-American, and can never be allowed to shape public policy. Thanks for clearing that up, Congressman King!

My problem here is that as a nation of, and most importantly, for the people… if enough of said people get on board with an idea of how this country should be run or how the status quo should change, then it is imperative that our elected officials listen and consider their position.  They don’t call it the House of Representatives for nothing, after all. Sometimes they forget… we are their boss’ boss.  We hire them, and we pay their salary.

Well, ok… corporations and special interest groups pay them more than we do.  But you see where I’m going with that.  Also that pesky First Amendment I was describing a second ago.  Yeah.

The other asshole in question this week is Herman Cain, a Republican presidential candidate who has been setting the world on fire in the past few days, far outpacing the competition.

 

Except Ron Paul, but who's counting?

 

Kind of a side note here: I’m relatively surprised that a party of Christians is going crazy in support of a guy whose last name is “Cain.” As in, “Cain and Abel.” So bumper stickers all over the Bible belt are likely to read, “Cain 2012.”

 

Not to be confused with Munster 2012, because that would just be awesome.

 

Anyway, between his campaign promise that congressional bills won’t be over three pages long because he just plain doesn’t like to read and pontificating on the quality of pizza ingredients by testing the saltiness of a given restaurant’s all-meat pizza, the presidential hopeful gave his opinion on Occupy Wall Street during a recent book-signing event:

“I don’t have facts to back this up, but I happen to believe that these demonstrations are planned and orchestrated to distract from the failed policies of the Obama administration.”

 

His protest movement, tentatively called "Occupy Pizza Street," will soon be underway.

 

To give credit where credit is due, though, the former Godfather’s Pizza CEO has a jobs plan, and he unveiled it to the Associated Press during the same book-signing event:

“Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself!”

Shit.

So, to both Peter King and Herman Cain:


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