This is what happens when you make music directed towards the lowest common denominator and give those same people an internet connection. At the same time, I weep for America, because one day, these idiots will either hold public office or manufacture a kid who will.
I like musical collaborations, but only in small doses. I might not like the product of one of the contributors, or even the song itself, but I am real big fan of two different things getting together and making one new thing, because diversity is cool. And I’m not talking about small parts either – Hetfield’s background vocals on Twist of Cain didn’t make it a better song, and while Tech n9ne did an okay job teaming with FFDP on Mama Said Knock You Out, the novelty had grown off around the second or third listening. Genuine collaborations, be it Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow to Warren Haynes and Corrosion of Conformity, those are the examples, but like I said, I enjoy these in small doses, because that’s how you turn a one off album featuring Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas into “with special guest Carlos Santana” appearing on at least one song on every CD by every artist imaginable.
But never Metallica and Lou Reed. never… ugh, I feel so dirty.
So I’m at work the other day and MSN has a story on their page that says “Kanye West fans don’t know who Paul McCartney is” and that was about as much attention that I gave that headline, because when it comes to Kanye, I pass over anything in the news with his name in it UNLESS it begins with “Kanye Smashes his Head On Stop Sign” in which case I will open 3 windows and watch it on my phone at the same time. I wouldn’t expect people who like Kanye West to know who Paul FREAKIN’ McCartney is. But then I logged on Facebook and then I just got really, really sad for America.
You see, I didn’t know that Paul was teaming up with Kanye to make a song together. I instantly was happy that Kanye would be in a studio with a real talented musician, and while I’m probably never going to actively seek this song out and listen to it (rather, I will be subjected to it just about everywhere I go for the next six years) once again, it’s two different things making a new thing. Hooray. What I also didn’t know is just how bad the education system had failed some people. All across my page were variants of the same pictures of people on twitter going crazy because Kanye West was about to make Paul McCartney’s career BLOW UP.
I’m just going to throw some numbers out here for the uneducated masses…
130,000,000. That’s one hundred and thirty million.
1,200,000,000. That’s one billion two hundred million.
One of these is the amount of dollars that Paul McCartney has sitting in his bank account. The other is what Kanye has. I’ll give you a hint, Paul’s is the larger of the two. And just for shits and giggles, keep this in mind – McCartney has paid out almost 40% of Kanye’s net worth in his divorce to Heather Mills. Boo Yah.
But yeah, it seems that kids these days had never heard of Sir Paul, so naturally they were excited to have Kanye get him going, because that’s what one needs when you already have 60 gold records, right? But people can’t be that stupid, can they? Sadly, they can. I did a little looking into the people who were posting glee at Paul finally getting a shot at the spotlight, and it wasn’t good. Then again, nothing ever is when you look deep enough. I found that these people followed the same pattern – make post about Kanye helping out an “unknown” musical billionaire with a knighthood from the British Empire, have it go viral, and then make the obvious post of “I didn’t know he was in the Beatles” and then get defensive and want to fight everyone on the internet. Granted, some of them are likely trolls (I counted no less than 35 manual retweets of the same post that “ur bae” posted above (more on her later) but every single one of them all had the same formula – they didn’t know who McCartney was because they listen to “real music” like the ones that require 8 different writers, an army of producers, and shit that sounds like every other thing out there right now.
I would expect nothing less than people who lavish hero worship on someone who still feels slighted that he didn’t win an MTV video award even though he spent a million dollars on it (approximately 0.083% of Paul’s net worth).
In the case of Ms Bae, however, she took it a little too far and maybe got caught up in the moment that is “sudden twitter fame” because her timeline reads out like a bad comedy. There’s the initial post, the aftermath, the “why is my tweet all over the place” update, the snarky reply retweets, and then the melt down including a “suicide attempt” and threats of lawsuits from her parents. Of course, she’s back to posting regularly stupid and tumor inducing content now, but that’s what troll accounts do. Oh wait, she’s not the only one, the “real” fans are doing the same thing. fuck. Yep, they are all morons. And one day, they’re going to be in charge of nuclear weapons.
RIP, America. You had a good run.
Despite his fans now knowing who Paul is, this doesn’t change anything. Kanye’s still a dick, and his legion of brain dead fans, well…